The soundtrack behind The Dark Side of Dog Agility
Some stories are difficult to tell with words alone.
Long before this book existed, music became a way of making sense of feelings I couldn’t yet explain. Sometimes a song captured an emotion I didn’t yet have the language for. Sometimes it reminded me of a particular moment with Quest. Sometimes it simply helped me keep going when I wasn’t sure where the journey was leading.
The songs in this playlist aren’t here because they’re my favourite songs.
They’re here because, somewhere along the way, each one quietly became part of the story behind The Dark Side of Dog Agility.
In the book, you’ll find a short sentence explaining why each song made the playlist.
This page is where I get to tell you the rest of the story.
So, if you haven’t already…
Press play on the playlist – But before you do…..
It’s easy to hear a song.
It’s much harder to really listen to the words.
For me, these songs became more than background music. They gave me words when I didn’t have my own. Sometimes they explained emotions I couldn’t describe. Sometimes they reminded me of a moment I’d almost forgotten. Sometimes they simply made me feel understood.
If you decide to listen to this playlist, I’d encourage you to do one thing.
Don’t just hear the music.
Listen to the lyrics.
Some will resonate immediately. Others may not mean much at all. A few might even seem like unusual choices. That’s okay. They aren’t here because they tell my story perfectly. They’re here because, at a particular moment in my journey, they helped me make sense of it.
One song in particular, Quietly Surviving, feels as though it could have been written for this book. Every lyric takes me back to the start of this journey. Every time I hear it, I discover another line that reminds me why this story needed to be told.
Perhaps, as you listen, you’ll find a song that quietly gives words to part of your own story too.
🎧 Listen to the Playlist
Or scan the QR code below to open the playlist on your phone.
Quietly Surviving – Don’t Tell Me How To Grieve
The unspoken truth. Surviving on the outside, while quietly fighting battles no one else could see.
This song belongs right at the beginning of the story.
From the outside, life probably looked much the same as it always had. I kept showing up, kept smiling, kept trying to do the right thing. But underneath, I was exhausted from fighting battles that nobody else could see.
For years I believed I simply needed to try harder. Be stronger. Fit in better. Train better. Cope better.
I didn’t have the words to explain what was happening.
I only knew something didn’t feel right.
Looking back now, I realise I wasn’t failing.
I was quietly surviving.
What About Us – P!nk
The moment I realised what we were being taught wasn’t working for us.
This song reminds me of the moment I began questioning everything.
Not because I wanted to be different, but because what everyone told me should work… simply wasn’t.
I wasn’t looking for an alternative.
I was looking for understanding.
Quest wasn’t trying to be difficult. He wasn’t trying to make life harder for me.
He was trying to tell me something.
The more I listened, the more I realised the problem wasn’t that he couldn’t fit the traditional approach.
The problem was that the traditional approach wasn’t built for dogs like him, for partnerships like ours…
That realisation changed everything!
Don’t Give Up On Me – Andy Grammer
When everything felt impossible, but giving up was never an option.
This song has always felt like a promise, from me to Quest.
I knew the dog he was.
I’d seen him light up when the environment felt safe. I’d seen his excitement, his confidence and the sheer joy he found in agility when everything around him felt right.
I knew there was so much more to him than the moments other people saw.
So when things became difficult, I made him a promise.
I wouldn’t give up on him.
I’d fight for what he needed.
I’d stand beside him through every setback, every disappointment and every moment that made us question what came next.
Because I believed in him long before I understood what he was trying to tell me.
I wasn’t waiting for him to become a different dog.
I was waiting for the world to see the dog I already knew.
At that point, I still believed the answer was helping him overcome his struggles.
I didn’t yet realise that this journey would ask both of us to change.
But one thing never changed.
No matter how hard things became, I was never going to stop believing in him.
I knew who he was.
I just needed to help him feel safe enough to show everyone else.
A Thousand Years – Christina Perri
Realising the biggest change had to happen in me, not him.
For a long time, I kept asking myself one question.
Why?
Why did the dog I’d dreamed of become the dog who found so much of the world overwhelming?
Why couldn’t things just be straightforward?
Why couldn’t I simply have the agility dog I’d imagined?
I loved Quest exactly as he was, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes wonder why our journey felt so much harder than everyone else’s.
Then, slowly, something shifted.
I stopped asking, “Why me?”
And started asking, “What if there’s a reason?”
The more I learnt about behaviour, the more I began to understand something I hadn’t seen before.
Quest wasn’t just showing me who he was.
He was quietly showing me who I was.
The things I thought I was helping him with… he was helping me to see in myself.
My anxiety.
My need for certainty.
The pressure I placed on myself.
The way my emotions travelled straight down the lead and into him.
People often say that you don’t get the dog you want.
You get the dog you need.
For a long time, I didn’t understand what that meant.
Now I do.
Quest didn’t come into my life to become the perfect agility dog.
He came into my life to help me become the person I needed to be.
Only when I began changing myself could I truly begin changing life for him.
Looking back, I don’t think either of us found the journey we expected.
But I think we found the one we were always meant to take.
I’m With You – Avril Lavigne
Feeling alone in what I knew, until I realised Quest and I only needed to trust each other.
If there’s one song that captures how that period of my life felt, it’s this one.
It wasn’t just difficult.
It was lonely.
I could see things in Quest that other people didn’t seem to see. I knew there was more going on than behaviour. I knew he wasn’t choosing to struggle. I knew there was a reason behind everything he was trying to tell me.
But nobody else seemed to be saying it.
That made me question myself.
Maybe I’d got it wrong.
Maybe I was imagining it.
Maybe I really was making excuses for my dog.
When you’re surrounded by people who see the world differently, it’s very easy to start doubting what you know to be true. I spent so much time wishing someone would simply say, “You’re not imagining this. I see it too.”
Quest and I were trying to navigate two sensitive nervous systems in an environment that wasn’t built for either of us. Most days it felt as though we were making it up as we went along, just trying to find our way through.
Looking back, I realise I spent so long searching for someone else to validate what I already knew, that I’d almost overlooked the one opinion that mattered most.
Quest had been validating it all along.
Every behaviour was communication.
Every reaction was information.
Every moment he struggled was him trusting me enough to tell me something wasn’t right.
I just needed to trust what he was showing me.
I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was.
Quest and I simply needed to trust each other.
And once we did, I stopped waiting for somebody else to find the words.
It was time to find my own…
Read All About It, Pt. III – Emeli Sandé
Finding the courage to use my own voice!
For a long time, I kept my thoughts to myself.
It felt easier.
Safer.
Who was I to question what everyone else seemed so certain about?
But little by little, I found my voice.
Not because I suddenly had all the answers.
But because I knew staying quiet no longer felt right.
Sometimes speaking up begins long before you feel ready.
Sometimes your voice arrives before the perfect words ever do.
How Long Will I Love You – Ellie Goulding
A promise that however long it took, we’d find our way together.
This song has always felt like a promise.
To Quest.
To myself.
A reminder that I wasn’t working towards a deadline or chasing somebody else’s version of success.
I simply wanted him to know he was safe.
That I believed in him.
That I was sorry for the times I hadn’t understood.
And that however long this journey took…
We would walk it together.
Highs & Lows (I’ll Be There)
Choosing our partnership over performance and navigating every high and low together.
Agility is full of highs and lows.
Brilliant runs.
Disappointing runs.
Moments you never want to forget.
Moments you’d rather erase.
This song reminds me that none of those moments define us.
What matters is knowing that, whatever happens, we’ll face it together.
Not as handler and dog.
As a partnership!
That’s The Way It Is – Céline Dion
Understanding each other so deeply that, whatever came next, we’d find our way through it together.
This song always reminds me of the partnership Quest and I had built by this point in our journey.
I knew him.
Not just how he ran agility, but how he thought, what worried him, what excited him and what he needed from me.
I could read his body language before anyone else noticed it. I knew his story because we’d lived every chapter together. When he looked at me, I understood what he was asking, even when I didn’t always have the answer.
Sensitive dogs don’t come with guarantees.
Every time we stepped onto a start line, I never really knew what kind of run we were going to have. There were so many things outside of our control. Other people. Unexpected situations. Small moments that could completely change how safe the world felt to Quest.
Sometimes he would look to me for reassurance, almost asking, “What do we do now?”
The truth is, I didn’t always know.
I couldn’t control other people.
I couldn’t make the environment predictable.
I couldn’t promise that everything would go to plan.
But I could promise one thing.
We would face it together.
One of the lyrics says, “Luck comes to those who believe it.”
Belief has always been at the heart of our story.
Even when other people couldn’t see what I saw, I believed in Quest.
I believed in the dog he was.
I believed in the partnership we were building.
And I believed that, if we stayed true to what he needed, the results would eventually follow.
They did.
Not because we chased rosettes.
Not because we found a magic training technique.
But because the trust between us became stronger than the pressure around us.
Our successes weren’t the goal.
They were the natural byproduct of a partnership built on understanding, trust and belief.
Looking back, that’s what this song means to me.
Not that the journey became easy.
But that whatever came next, we no longer had to face it alone.
Carry You Home – Alex Warren
Choosing what Quest needed over what other people might think… even if that meant literally carrying him out of the ring.
This song always reminds me of one simple promise.
If Quest needed me…
I’d choose him.
Every single time.
Even if people didn’t understand.
Even if it looked unusual.
Even if it meant walking away from a competition or cueing him to jump into my arms and leaving the ring mid run in front of everyone watching.
I’d rather he remembered that I made him feel safe than anyone remembered how we finished the course.
That, to me, is what partnership really means.
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now – ONY9RMX
Rediscovering trust, connection, the joy of being a team, and the belief that together we could rewrite our story.
There came a point where agility stopped being something we survived.
It became something we enjoyed again.
Not because everything was perfect.
But because we had found each other again.
Our trust.
Our connection.
Our partnership.
People might not always understand the way we choose to do things.
That’s okay.
This story was never about proving them wrong.
It was about staying true to what was right for us.
A Million Dreams – P!nk
Imagining a different future – for us, and for everyone who feels they don’t belong.
Somewhere along this journey, the story stopped being just about me and Quest.
I started imagining something bigger.
A world where understanding came before judgement.
Where people and dogs were supported instead of labelled.
Where being different wasn’t something to hide.
That vision became bigger than a dream.
It became the work I wanted to dedicate my life to.
It became The Neurodivergent Dog Coach!
Because I know we will never be the only ones who have ever felt like they didn’t quite fit.
Aim Higher, Dream Bigger – Virushka
Turning one story into hope for many more.
This song reminds me that every difficult chapter can become the beginning of something meaningful.
Every setback taught me something.
Every scar became part of the story.
Every tear helped shape the person I am today.
This book isn’t the end of that journey.
It’s simply one chapter.
My hope is that, somewhere within these pages, you’ve recognised a little of your own story too.
And if you have…
Perhaps together we can build something even bigger than any one story could ever achieve.
One Last Thing…
If you’ve made it this far, thank you.
Not just for listening to the playlist.
Thank you for reading the book.
Thank you for giving these songs a place in your own story.
One of the things I’ve learnt is that music has a remarkable way of meeting us exactly where we are. The same song can mean something completely different depending on what we’re carrying when we hear it.
So I’d love to know…
Which song stayed with you?
Was it the lyrics?
A memory it stirred?
Or simply the way it made you feel?
Wherever you are in your own journey, I hope this playlist reminds you of one thing.
You don’t have to have all the words to know you’re heading in the right direction.
